Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Dating

Dating. It's that awkward stage between giving someone that shy glance from underneath your lashes and marriage. I don't know anyone who really loves dating. They want to date so they'll seem as if they're worth someone's time, but they would truly be happy if they didn't have to. I think people are so worried about whether or not someone likes them or when this wonderful relationship is going to end horribly with police involvement that they can't even really enjoy it.

Questions like, do they like me, like, really like me? Are they in love with me? Are they just leading me on because no one else in their right mind would ever date this person? Is this person really worth the time and effort I am putting into them? Will I regret every decision I made to be with this person? Will it turn out to be my true love? Do true loves really exist? Why doesn't my boyfriend send me flowers every day? Why do they get a good looking guy? Is this person going to turn out to be awesome or the biggest loser ever?

And the thing is, because we're so busy asking these questions we don't have time to appreciate the person we're with or the dating scene. Instead we're worried about our breath and what our hair looks like and whether or not that guy likes my boobs but I'm too embarassed to ask because that makes them think about sex and I don't necessarily want them to think about that I just want to know if they like mine and then we can move on before I realize this guy is a total creeper and I hate him and his stupid face.
Am I right people? Am I the only one that does this?

And talking on the phone....I hate it. I can't see their faces. I get so nervous. Butterflies form in my stomach and my hands sweat and shake and I usually end up saying something so stupid that it's hard to make it seem charming because I know I would think they were a loser if they said that to me and I don't want them to think I'm a loser! And what if they gave me a false number and they were too nice to tell me they didn't really like me like that? My heart starts to race and then I feel so sick that I would rather sing onstage to a thousand people than make this phone call. Then I think, oh, they should like me and I don't care what they think. Actually, yes I do but I'm lying to myself because I want to have more confidence in myself. I have more confidence than this, right? I'm going to throw up. No! I won't! I'm going to be fine. If they don't like me, screw them. I'm awesome.

That's what it's like in my mind, and it plays over and over and over. Sometimes I think arranged marriages are a great thing because then I wouldn't have to worry about this. Oh wait, that isn't such a good idea either. *sigh* Let's never speak of this again. It's too overwhelming!

End point: Dating sucks. Let's just join a big marriage site and we'll all just get told who to marry based on our likes/dislikes/beliefs and move on. Art anyone?

No comments:

Post a Comment